1:49pm

Thu May 23, 2013
Monkey See

Breakin' The Rules: 20 General Principles Suspended In 'Fast And Furious 6'

1. Newton's Laws Of Motion

2. The Reluctance Of Brilliant Criminal Masterminds To Freely Confess

3. The Inability Of Two Things To Coexist In The Same Physical Space

4. The Integrity Of Vending Machines

5. Gravity

6. Gina Carano's Ability To Snap Most Of These People Like Twigs Pretty Quickly, If We're Being Honest

7. The Hardness Of Cars, Which Are Actually Kind Of Uncomfortable To Land On From Great Heights

8. The Assumption That Even Innocent Bystanders Who Do Not Have Speaking Parts Have To Not Die In Order For The Good Guys To Be Considered Entirely Successful

9. The Conservation Of Mass

10. The Concern That Former Models Are Often Not That Funny In Movies

11. The Tendency Of People To Be A Little Down After Witnessing Devastating Car Crashes

12. The Fact That In Most Circumstances, A Truck Is Unlikely To Contain A Tank

13. How Much It Hurts To Be On Fire, To The Point Where Strutting May Become Difficult

14. Amnesia ... Something Something Something

15. The Loss Of Velocity Of An Enormous Object Traveling At High Speed That Collides with Another Enormous Object

16. The Difficulty Of Completing A Fistfight While You're In One Moving Car And The Other Guy Is In Another Moving Car

17. The Likelihood That Even Conventionally Trained, Rule-Following Law Enforcement Officers Occasionally Learn Something Of Value They Can Successfully Use Against Criminals

18. That Guy Reminds Me Of Somebody, But I Really Don't Think It Can Be "Luke Evans," Because I Don't Know Who That Is ... Wait, Who's The One Who's Not Tom Hardy?

19. Relativity

20. Indemnification

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