Since Paula Abdul left American Idol, she's had her own dance competition show called Live To Dance on CBS (which failed) and a stint on The X Factor (where she lasted one season). Apparently still wanting that doctorate in reality-competition judging, she's making a guest appearance this week swinging a paddle (oh, behave) on ABC's Dancing With The Stars. The only major broadcast network left after that is NBC, where perhaps she can lead an aerobics class on The Biggest Loser. (Sometimes I think I should walk up and down in front of network executives' houses with a sandwich board that says FREE IDEAS.)
Paula will not, however, be bringing her talents to moderating the presidential debates, which is really a shame. It would make picking a winner much easier, since given her peculiar way of delivering bad news, the loser would clearly be the person to whom she said, "You look beautiful tonight."