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Down at Downton Abbey

Feb 14, 2013
Originally published on February 15, 2013 9:54 am

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Let's welcome our next two contestants.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Andy Duong and Tom Miller. Welcome to ASK ME ANOTHER, Andy, Tom. So, Andy, you have been to a huge number of countries.

ANDY DUONG: I have.

EISENBERG: How many?

DUONG: Twenty-eight.

EISENBERG: Twenty-eight. Do you have a favorite?

DUONG: The Netherlands actually.

EISENBERG: Oh yeah, yeah, [unintelligible].

DUONG: For many reasons.

EISENBERG: For many reasons? What's your second favorite reason?

(LAUGHTER)

DUONG: I'm going to say the pancakes.

EISENBERG: Pancakes, very good. Now do you ever watch the show "Downton Abbey"?

DUONG: I haven't. Everyone tells me I should.

EISENBERG: You should. Yes, you should. Well, that's too bad.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: No. That's great, but remember that.

DUONG: I will.

EISENBERG: Tom Miller, nice to see you.

TOM MILLER: Howdy.

EISENBERG: You are the General Manager, is that right?

MILLER: That's exactly right.

EISENBERG: A General Manager. And write and act and perform for this fantastic website that I enjoy, it's a women's interest website, but it's called YourTango.com. I love that site.

MILLER: That's exactly right. Thank you very much.

EISENBERG: Yes. You're welcome. Do you watch "Downton Abbey".

MILLER: I have seen some "Downton Abbey".

EISENBERG: You've seen some?

MILLER: Some.

EISENBERG: That doesn't mean you follow it, does it?

MILLER: It's hard to catch up with so many good shows on Netflix streaming.

EISENBERG: Oh, OK. All right, well this game is called Down At Downton Abbey.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

JONATHAN COULTON: (Singing) Downton Abbey. Downton Abbey.

That is the - of course the British hit drama set in an Edwardian mansion in the early 20th century. It is basically "Gossip Girl" with fancy dresses.

EISENBERG: Oh. For shame, Lord Coulton. That's probably, you think that way because you're an American.

COULTON: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I love that show. I've given my whole life to that show.

COULTON: No, I know. I know. You care. You care about it and for that, I beg your forgiveness, Lady Ophira Eisenberg.

EISENBERG: Oh. Thank you.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: That just does not flow, does it, Lady Ophira Eisenberg?

COULTON: It doesn't really flow, no.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: But it is true, our staff is a little obsessed with "Downton Abbey", so they made up this little game where the characters of "Downton" get visited by some real life people who have aristocratic or royal names. For example, Lady Ophira, try this one. Branson, the chauffeur, has to park a "little red Corvette" when Downton is visited by this diminutive singer, fittingly decked out in royal purple and looking to "party like it's 1899."

EISENBERG: That would be Prince, of course.

COULTON: That is correct.

EISENBERG: Or Sir Roger Nelson.

COULTON: Yes, as he's otherwise known.

EISENBERG: As he is otherwise known.

COULTON: So contestants, you understand you - as it turns out you don't have to know much of anything about "Downton Abbey" to play this game...

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: ...which is lucky for you.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: All the answers will be individuals who have a royal title somewhere in their name. Ring in when you know the answer. Whoever gets more right will move on to our Ask Me One More final round. Are you ready? OK. Carson the butler is aghast at the uncouth behavior of this supposedly noble English comedian, who spends the entire weekend insisting he is a journalist from Kazakhstan named Borat.

MILLER: Sacha Baron Cohen.

EISENBERG: Tom.

Tom, you are correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: It's hard to find that name, but you got it. Yep.

COULTON: The Dowager Countess has strong opinions on how a female sovereign should comport herself, and it certainly does not include appearing in films like "Chicago" or "Bringing Down the House," as this rapper-turned-actress has done.

EISENBERG: Andy.

DUONG: Queen Latifah.

EISENBERG: Queen Latifah.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: It was a great honor for Downton when this television personality and monarch deigned to visit, but they were scandalized to learn that he had been married to seven different women, and what was up with those suspenders?

EISENBERG: Tom.

MILLER: Larry King?

EISENBERG: Larry King is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: At the annual servants' ball, the Crawleys delight the staff by bringing in this aristocratic big band leader, who can make even Mrs O'Brien dance with his signature song "Take The A-Train."

EISENBERG: Tom.

MILLER: Duke Ellington?

EISENBERG: Duke Ellington, correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: All the Crawley ladies wear the latest in Edwardian fashion, but this knighted rapper prefers older Victorian-style dresses with bustles, because he likes big butts and cannot lie.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Andy.

DUONG: Oh, oh my goodness.

EISENBERG: He thought he had it.

DUONG: I like big butts and I cannot lie.

EISENBERG: Yep.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yeah

DUONG: Oh, I don't remember.

EISENBERG: You don't remember, it's escaping you? All right.

COULTON: Tom, do you know?

MILLER: Yeah, Sir Mix-a-Lot.

EISENBERG: Sir Mix-a-Lot.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: As they would say in Downton, lady got back, lady got back. All right. Tom, you are our winner of this round. Congratulations, you'll be moving on to our Ask Me One More final round

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Thank you both for playing. Andy, huge hand for Andy, everybody.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG "BABY GOT BACK")

COULTON: (Singing) I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face. You get sprung, you want to pull up tough. You notice that butt was stuffed deep in the jeans she's wearing. I'm hooked and I can't stop staring. Ooh babe, I want to get wit'cha, take your pretty picture. My homeboys tried to warn me, but that butt you got, made me so horny.

(Singing) Ooh, Rumple-smooth-skin, you say you want to get in my Benz. Well, use me, use me 'cause you ain't that average groupie. I've seen them dancing. To hell with romancing 'cause she's sweat, wet, got it going like a turbo 'Vette. I'm tired of magazines saying flat butts are the thing. Take the average black man and ask him that, she gotta pack much back. So, fellas, fellas, has your girlfriend got the butt? Tell her to shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt. Baby got back.

(APPLAUSE)

(Singing) Baby got back. Baby got back.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Thank you.

EISENBERG: Jonathan Coulton.

I can see that in the future you're going to be playing that at people's weddings for their first dance.

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.